Film Review: "Superman Returns"

After I watch a movie I have to stew on it a bit before I write a review. Since I'm a girl and a sensitive one at that the littlest things make me cry, laugh, swoon, whatever. Emotions have a tendency to get the best of me. So I have to let let my emotional highs drop back to normal levels in order to see things objectively.

This movie was no exception. Initially after is was over I loved it. I adored Brandon Routh as Superman and for the most part still do. I was thrilled with the excitement of seeing the man in blue flying around saving the world again. I had forgotten how much I missed him. The basic plot of this new enstallment has Superman returning (thus Clark Kent also) after a five year hiatus to simply resume their old jobs and the infactuaction with Lois Lane. At the same time, due to technical issues with Lex Luthor's trial (the failure of Superman as a key witness to show up) Lex gets out of jail just in time to swindle a filthy rich widow out of her entire fortune while on her death bed. Lex finds out about Superman, Superman finds out about Lex and Lois is brought into the middle of it as usual. Lex finds Supermans Fortress of Solitude and steals the crystals along with a rock of kryptonite from the local museum. Put one and one together and you get his next monumentally selfish idea, to make a new continent, swallow up most of the United States (again), destroy several billion people (again) and make the world rely on buying up pieces of this new property from you and have it all completely Superman proof. Of course the cast has changed completely but the plot is basically the same thing as the original film made not so new. Lex wants land, tried to kill Superman with kryptonite, Lois nearly gets killed along with half the United States, but it all works out in the end. Sort of...

After I stewed on this film overnight I actually became more and more upset. Here's why. The biggest thing is there are more holes in the film than swiss cheese and I'm talking HUGE holes. You simply can't ignore them and they begin early in the film following it to the last scene.

First we have a space shuttle anchored to an enormous airplane for of all things a launch which gets stuck and both crafts go rocketing to space, with Lois on board of course. She goes flying around the air craft like a doll but doesn't break a single bone. Furthermore she never does gain access to an oxygen mask but hmm even at zero gravity has no problem breathing. Perhaps she has super powers of her own.

Hole number 2, both Superman and Clark Kent reappear after mysteriously disappearing at exactly the same time and not one person gets suspicious. Later in the movie Superman up and kicks the bucket, flat lines, but up next scene, nope he's only in critial condition and in the hospital. Again Superman is in the hospital, Clark Kent is suddenly missing in action and no one's scratching their head at how odd one is always missing when the other is.

Probably the biggest mistake the writers made with this film comes as a slap in the face to the intelligence of all Superman fans. It's no secret that even being in close proximity to a shard of kryptonite renders Superman helpless, yet not only does he find the strength to lift an entire continent made of the nasty green rocks out of the ocean and up into the universe, and yes perhaps what the film makers failed to ellaborate on was the fact he appears to have cushioned the bottom of this giant krypto-continent with Earth rock, but we find out he does this all with a small shard of kryptonite still stuck in his abdomen after being stabbed by Lex Luthor. Yes I know that was a run on sentence, don't correct me, I'm irritated right now.

Hole number (I'm already losing count) whatever, Lex steals the crystals from the Fortress of Solitude and cutting off the tinyiest little piece drops it in a pool of water. Of which a small land mass forms. However later in the film Lex's newest ditzy broad drops all six full sized crystals into the ocean and ooops nothing happens, we aren't supposed to be putting two and two together like that. Stop doing your math.

Next hole (I won't bother adding it up now) starts with a question, does anyone ever recall Lois and Superman getting it on in any of the films prior to this? I sure don't, but somehow in this Lois has a kid that we find out is off spring of the man of steel. Woo Hoo a boy of tin! My problem is two fold. First I don't care how long you've been apart, two people who've done the nasty, and made a kid would NOT be back on formal terms. If it had been an affair then yes, when around other people proper introductions would be used, but in private, Hell no. I would never call my ex-husband Mr.Leathem no matter how long we've been apart. Secondly after revealing to an indestructable man that you have had his kid, I don't know about you but I'd have a whole lot of fricken questions to ask. Hey our kid just threw a piano across a room, can I expect more of this? Will he be like you, will he have x-ray vision, will he burn holes with his eyes, will he be able to fly, how do I take care of him? What do I need to know? Foster parents have millions of questions about the health and history of the children they adopt. All Lois can come up with after coming clean with Superman that's her kid is his is "will we see you around?" What the hell is that? Who wrote this script? They obviously DON'T have children. The formalities between Superman and Lois through this movie are atrocious. In one private moment they're almost kissing, in the next private moment they're back to "Good Night Miss Lane." ICK! I mean HELLO they got naked together once upon a time!!! Next, in the original film Lois already comments about "Clark Kent" to Superman who then in turn plays stupid and asks "Clark?" which Lois explains is a man she works with. But oops after five years I guess Lois and Superman forgot about all that and gee we see this whole bit done again in this film.

At the end of the movie we're left with so many hanging ends we could sew them together to make an afghan. Does Lex get off his island? Does Superman get his crystals back to restore his now dead fortress? Does his son ever learn his true identity? Does Lois ever ask if there should be any alien diseases or anomalies other than the obvious she needs to look out for? Is anyone ever going to ask why the hell Clark is always missing from work when Superman is on the prowl?


I can't go on any more about the holes, they're driving me crazy. As for the acting, Brandon Rouch got a lot of heat for his "steel" like on screen presence. However if you look at those awkward moments in the film he's seems cold and aloof because the lines in the script called for it. It was not his acting so much as the damn screenwriting. I personally think he did a great job. As a 12 year old madly in love with Christopher Reeves back in 1982 I remember every little move he made as both Clark Kent and Superman. Brandon Rouch captured the same Clark Kent and Superman that Chris did back in the inital installments. Granted he and Lois were a bit young in this film, but we are targetting a specific audience here. I like Brandon in the role and give him thumbs up for playing both personalities beautifully. He was clumsy and clunky as Clark but suave and down to business as our Hero. I'm not a big fan of Kate Bosworth but honestly it has more to do with the fact she gets to kiss Orlando Bloom any time she wants than her acting. Honestly she did a good job as Lois other than as a top news snoop she and well the rest of them are blind to the obvious, she pulled the role off as a young Kate would. The rest of the acting was okay but nothing great to write about.


Overall I'm in line with much of the other reviews you see regarding this film. It had great potential and really could have become a great film. Who doesn't love the idea of an indestructable man, who can fly, and see through anything but lead? Furthermore what woman wouldn't love the idea of a the same man being a muscle bound, blue eyed, hotty who is comfortable wearing tight rubber suits. Yum! I'll take one of those please. The problem is the screenwriters should have known better, hell they should have watched the first three movies for what to do and what not to do. Kalel already can fly in space so why does he have to come back to Earth in a rock again? I could have written this script better and shame on the directors and producers for allowing this script to be made uncorrected. However it's still entertainment and even if just to see the man in blue flying around again it's worth it. We all need a hero now and then. It's nice to think we have one out there, even if for a few hours.

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Film Review: "The Mask of Zorro" / "The Legend of Zorro"

You might think because I'm a woman with very little romance in my life, my first choice in film is a sappy "boy meet girl, boys makes girl cry, boy sweeps girl off her feet" kinda of film. And as I must admit I do like those films, my first love is a good ole' rip-roarin' adventure flick.

Indiana Jones? -yep I'll take all three. Lord of the Rings? Oh yeah right at the top of the list. Pirates of the Caribbean? Absolutely must haves. The Mummy 1&2 - Killer flicks to die for.

Get my drift?

Now I have two more to add to my retinue.

"The Mask of Zorro" and "The Legend of Zorro"

I watched both this weekend and thoroughly enjoyed both.

In the first enstallment we meet Zorro played initially by Sir Anthony Hopkins who later passes on the torch..er uh..mask to Antonio Banderas. There's no need to go into the log lines for these films as you can read the premise of each on the back of the box. On the short side, the younger is trained by the former to take on the personna of Zorro and they team up to take down the governor of California when it was still part of Mexico.

In the second film, Zorro is torn between his need to continue wearing the mask and his wife's urging to let it go, only to end up in his next big adventure. This time his job is helping to make California part of the United States all the while trying to defeat his latest adversary and keep his family from falling apart.

Both films are enjoyable, action packed, rides. Antonio is a perfect match for the part of the masked man in black. He effortlessly weaves, courageous stunts, emotional pain and happiness, romance, and a witty humor into the role. His comfort with a sword as well as the dance floor clearly show and give our hero a flashy debonaire style; one that endures us to him.

As far as the two films go, the first and most notable difference is the screenwriting. Our first film brings us the dynamic duo Ted Elliot and Terry Russo, who also later bring us the Pirates of the Caribbean series where the later is written by the younger, go-for the action, tag team of Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman.

And it shows.

The first film has a much deeper layer of emotional tides flowing through it. Our Zorro grows from being a cras, lonely, drunken, thief, to a man very much in control of his emotions and his actions. He knows what he wants and exactly how to go about getting it. Plainly put...he's focused. The story is rich and flows cleanly, each sub-plot neatly entwining with the other. By the end of the film we see a clear transition of our hero from the irresponsible, childlike thief, to a mature, grown-up savior of the people.


The second installment has just as much adventure, action and romance but it is lacking in the same emotional depths as the first. When Zorro loses his wife to a divorce after 10 years of marriage our in control focused hero, reverts back to the clumsy drunken fool he once was. Not something I see a man doing so easily after 10 years of otherwise. He humiliates himself (albeit homorously) at a party by throwing himself into a drunken jealous fit. Not the best way to win back the heart of the woman he loves.

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As opposed to the "Mask", our "Legend" is less than legendary. Too may sub-plots and stories going this way and that, not melding well together. Where in the first film there was a clear irreversible change in our hero both mentally and emotionally, by the end of this film we simply feel like we've convinces his wife he should keep wearing the mask. No real change in character, more a change in opinion.

Granted our heroine played beautifully by Catherine Zeta-Jones sees a great deal more action herself in "Legend" and the chemisty between both her and Antonio on screen is fantastic. They play off each other wonderfully and are very comfortable in these two believable roles.

In the end we have two great films albiet the first far outshine it's successor. However the supurb acting by Antonio and Catherine (and Anthony in the first) make each well worth the watch. The first is worth seeing a few times, which I made sure I did before I returned it.

I'll definitely be adding these to my library.

Watch the Trailer:


The Mask of Zorro

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The Legend of Zorro

Film Review: "The Legend of Bagger Vance"

At first glance this film appears to be a story about golfing. It evolves around three famous golfers and takes place predominately on a golf course so it’s understandable the uneducated viewer would think it’s a film about golfing. If it walks like a duck and looks like a duck and….well you get the point.

But…if you think this movie it about golfing you would be wrong. Golfing is simply the vessel used to carry a story with a much deeper undercurrent.

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Our tale takes places pre and post World War I Savannah Georgia and highlights the story of Rannulph Junuh (Matt Damon), a young golfer who appears to have it all. His incredible skills with the clubs have made him a bit of a local hero and he has won the love of the beautiful Adele Invergordon (Charlize Theron), the daughter of the county’s’ most wealthy man.

When America enters World War I, with visions of glory and valor, our hero takes up the call of duty and soon finds himself a Captain in the U.S Army. However his fantasies of heroism are quickly cut short when the realities of war leave him a spiritually broken man. Hardened and haunted by the memories of war he vanishes. Ten years later he returns to Savannah hoping to lead a quiet meaningless life as a drunk only to find himself hustled into the largest exhibition golf game in Georgia’s history. Junuh quickly realizes he’s lost his “original swing” and fears complete humiliation on the course as he faces the two greatest names in golf at the time, Walter Hagen (Bruce McGill) and Bobby Jones (Joel Gretsch).

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Enter a mysterious and mystical caddy that literally appears out of the dark of night, Bagger Vance (Will Smith). For a guaranteed fee of five dollars Bagger offers his services to Junuh, which the golfer accepts, hey what the heck, what else does he have to loose?

With the added help of an 11 year old caddy-in-training, Hardy Greaves (J.Michael Moncreif), Bagger shows Junuh how to get “his swing back” and along the way teaches him there’s more to the game of life than hitting a few balls around and hoping to get one in the hole every now and then.

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This was adapted from the book by the same name and was directed by Robert Redford. At first Robert wasn’t interested in doing a film about golf, mostly because he really didn’t “get it but once he “got it” he jumped on board. After that assembling an all star cast was easy, I mean who wouldn’t want to work with “The Natural"

The story is told completely as a back-story from the point of view of an elderly and ailing Hardy Greaves, played by Jack Lemmon (one of his final roles) who had idolized Junuh as a child and spent a lifetime convinced golf was, is and always will be the greatest game ever played.

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There are some very fresh moments in this film, especially in new comer J.Michael Moncrief who makes you just want to pick him up and hug him to pieces. He’s delightful to watch. Will Smith takes a refreshing change from his typical hot-shot funny guy to the quiet, serious and often seemingly unaffected, Bagger Vance. At the same time he still manages to add the light side of the film as he appears to be simply minded, straightforward golf caddy but clearly shows the audience his deeper ability to see and know the “not so obvious”, that the truth is far below what’s seen on the surface. Charlize does a bang up job of portraying the feisty southern belle who can clearly take care of herself and handle her own around even the most powerful of men.

It’s an enjoyable film even though it sports a few slow moments. There is a saying in scriptwriting that goes “in order to write a good scene, the scene can not be about what the scene is about”. Basically a good scene or in this case a movie is about something else that what is see with the eye, something that lies below the surface of the obvious. In this case “The Legend of Bagger Vance” appears to be a film about golf, but through excellent screenwriting and a well put together film, it’s clearly about something much deeper and much more personal and is clearly NOT about golf.

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Film Review: "Memoirs of a Geisha"

This was a visually stunning film. The sets were amazing and Colleen Woods costumes were truly breathtaking.

This film takes us through the life of a little girl from a small fishing village in pre-World Was II Japan who is sold along with her big sister to a geisha house when their mother becomes ill. Separated almost imediately from her big sister, our heroine, Sayuri learns her place in a strange new life. Seen as nothing more than a future money maker by her new caretaker and loathed by the current reigning Geisha of the house, played magnificently by new comer to Hollywood film Li Gong, Sayuri is treated as nothing more than a common slave. She is forced to work off her 'debt' and finds life in her new home cruel, lonely and hopeless.

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Until the day she meets The Chariman, a handsome upper class businessman, on a bridge who sees her crying. In a world where she has only known sadness this man shows her some heartfelt kindnes. With only a linen handkerchief as her emblem of hope she embarks upon a journey to become the greatest Geisha ever in the hopes one day it will lead her back to him.

I simply couldn't find one flaw with this film. From the script writing to the superb performances by this unbelievable cast, and the cinematography, this was without a doubt one of the best films of 2005. Deserving of the multiple awards it's nice to see a film of this caliber receive such recognition.

Both the star Ziyi Zhang and Li Gong gave stand out performances, with Li Gong standing tall as a stunning beauty with lithely grace. I hope to see both of these women in more large internationally roles.

This film draws you into the world of the Geisha and let's you see the work, the struggles, the pain and the loneliness that often came from such position.

A must see for all. Be sure to pick up "Memoirs of a Geisha" and add it to your film collection.


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Film Review: "Failure To Launch"

It's hard to review any movie with Matthew McConaughey and be objective. I mean we are talking about the 2005 People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive", I mean he's the quintessential picture of sexy, the traffic stopping, goo goo eyes, excuse me while I change my underwear kind of sexy. So yes it’s hard to be equitable and unbiased when watching Matthew McConaughey do anything.

But I’ll try.




“Failure To Launch” basic, Trip is a 35 year old man (did I mention he REALLY sexy) still lives at home with his folks. Albeit he has a successful career, no problems meeting women, a lively social life and well he’s sexy. He is just unmotivated to leave home. So his folks (Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw) hire a professional interventionist, Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker) to date Trip and make him want to move out, unbeknownst to him of course. Along the way of dating and her text book lessons, things go a little wry and well they fall for each other, yes we saw it coming at the title. When her game is found out and exposed Trip feels the fool and cuts her loose. Knowing the two liked each other the very same group of people who set them up to fail bring their heads together and try to get them back together.

The bottom line is this is a funny and at times witty film, typical boy-meets-girl, boy-breaks-up-with-girl, boy-gets-back-together-with-girl film.

We’ve see this film a hundred different ways from Saturday but since every human is looking for love, it always works. We always go see it. Me, I saw it because it had Matthew McConaughey in it. Sorry I can’t lie. I would watch him shovel cow dung.The fun side of the film is wrapped up neatly with a pretty red bow by the three supporting roles. Trip has two friends (Demo played by Bradley Cooper and Ace portrayed by Justin Bartha) who also live at home with their parents but seem more at harmony with life and nature. Balancing the playing field, Paula’s monotone and quirky roommate Kit (Zooey Deschanel) brings a dry, adorable humor to the film. With these three I often found they stole the show from our two leads.

Here’s my one gripe…was it absolutely necessary for me to see Terry Bradshaw naked??? I mean Matthew hell yeah, but Terry…I just didn’t need to see that. And they didn’t’ just show him once but like three or four times. Eeeww. Of course we did get to see a few nice upper body shots of Matthew,( oohh honey come dance with me will ya?) but I just didn’t need to see anything Terry has to show.

Bottom line, this was a fun film even if it was predictable. I can’t see Terry Bradshaw as the father of Matthew McConaughey but apparently someone in casting did. I also could have seen someone else as the lead female as it was very obvious there was an age difference between Matthew and Sarah Jessica. The combination worked, it just could have been better. I think Drew Barrymore or Charlize Theron would have been better choices.

I give it a B simply because I would watch it again…. Because Matthew is so sexy!

Okay, enough of my drooling. You’re free to go.

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Film Review: "Ella Enchanted"

Alright, so this movie is a little old, but it's the first time I've seen it so for those of you who are like me and a little behind the curve on certain films here's my 2c.

An entertainingly amusing twist on the typical Cinderella fairy tale. While all the primary elements of the familiar story eventually make an appearance and are present (two step-sisters, fairy godmother, pumpkin, coach, prince charming, glass slippers) some of them (most) find their way into the film in a very unconventional way.

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In this rendition of the story, Ella is a child that is given a "gift" from her fairy godmother at birth. She must obey anything she is directly "told" to do. She can't help but do what she's asked even if she knows it's not right. At one point her sisters discover this secret and exploit it for their own benefit. This sends Ella on a journey to find her irresponsible and often derelict godmother. With a talking book as her guide she befriends an elf along the way and they eventually stumble into the Prince.

As she searches for her godmother to take back the spell she runs into the Princes' uncle who is currently ruling the kingdom while the Prince comes of age. His goal is secretively to destroy the prince and become the king. With the help of Ellas' stepsisters he learns of Ella's "gift" and uses forces her to kill the prince. Of course you'll have to watch to figure out what happens but overall the film is a rolling good time for the whole family. Even my 7 year old son found it entertaining and thoroughly enjoyed it.

A few surprises, Anna Hathaway sings in this film twice and has a surprisingly amazing voice. Why she doesn't sing more is a real head scratcher. I think she actually puts several "POP divas" to shame.

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The blue screen effects are not Peter Jackson quality but are enough to pull off the desired effect. In Lord of the Rings when the hobbits enter the tavern of Bree and are mingling with the tall people it's hard to notice the effects and it's hard to see Elisha Wood and Sean Astin as anything but 3 feet tall. Here in Ella, it's actually pretty easy to see the difference and where the films overlap. This again is a minor gripe though as obviously we're not dealing with a LotR budget.

The fun part of this film are the modern niceties that show up in a medievil way. The man powered, hand cranked wheel that moves the down escalator at the "mall" for example. There is also a fun use of modern music much as in the cult classic "A Knight's Tale". The film ends with a cast performance of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart".

"Ella Enchanted" is perhaps a bit of a parody of several popular films and is an "Ever After" meets "Robin Hood" (there's something very King John about Uncle Edgar) and overall this is a fun quirky twist to a classic tale that is fun for everyone.



Watch the trailer:

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